Many of us are naturally giving and thoughtful people. We offer our time, our hearts, and our attention freely. We care deeply, even about those we’ve just met. We listen to others’ pain, hold space for their emotions, and try to be the person who isn’t judging but supporting. But when the roles are reversed, when we find ourselves in need of that same care and attention, sometimes we realize that those we’ve given so much to are nowhere to be found.

These are energy leeches. People who take and take without reciprocating. It’s one of the painful truths of being human. We pour ourselves into others, and instead of feeling a mutual exchange of love and care, we end up drained. It can feel like a vampire has sucked the energy right out of us, leaving us hollow and longing for an explanation. Why do they take without giving anything back? What makes them incapable of showing up for us the way we’ve shown up for them?

This dynamic isn’t limited to human relationships; it mirrors so many aspects of our lives. Consider how we take from the environment without giving back. If I don’t water and fertilize my garden, I can’t expect it to keep blooming year after year. Eventually, the flowers won’t have the resources they need to grow. They’ll store what little energy they have just to survive. The same principle applies to our interactions. Relationships, like gardens, need care, balance, and reciprocity. When one side is always giving and the other is endlessly taking, the relationship wilts under the weight of imbalance.

For those of us who love deeply, stepping away from these one sided relationships can be incredibly hard. We see the potential in people; we cling to the hope that they’ll change, that they’ll eventually give us what we need. But the truth is, holding on to energy leeches only allows them to keep draining us. And in doing so, we neglect the most important relationship we have—the one with ourselves.

It’s not just people who can drain us. Think about the activities we engage in, the choices we make when we feel unfulfilled. Do you find yourself escaping into endless social media scrolling, binge watching TV, or spending hours in environments that leave you feeling depleted rather than recharged? Do you leave those spaces feeling full of joy, or do you feel emptier than before? Paying attention to how you feel during and after these activities is a powerful way to manage your mental and emotional well being. It’s not about shame or guilt; it’s about awareness.

When it becomes clear that certain people or activities are draining your energy, it’s time to reassess. This isn’t about blaming others or even trying to fix them. It’s about protecting yourself, prioritizing your own energy and well being. Think about what you need. Not what they need or what you hope they’ll give you someday. It’s okay to step back. It’s okay to set boundaries. The version of you who loves you, who needs you to thrive, is waiting for you to choose yourself.

This isn’t easy. Sometimes the people we need to distance ourselves from are woven into the fabric of our lives—sisters, close friends, partners, business colleagues. The ties can feel impossibly complicated. But here’s the thing, you’re not walking away from them out of malice or resentment. You’re walking toward a healthier version of yourself. And that version of you deserves people who pour into you as much as you pour into them.

It’s also important to take an honest look at ourselves. Have we, in any way, become the takers? Have we unconsciously leaned too heavily on others without gratitude? Have we failed to check in with those we care about, brushing off their struggles because we’re too busy with our own? It can be uncomfortable to ask these questions, but this kind of self awareness is the first step toward healing and strengthening our relationships. Gratitude, effort, and presence go a long way in showing the people we love that we value them.

Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re pathways to better relationships, with others and with yourself. They remind us that giving and receiving are both acts of love, and one cannot thrive without the other. Pay attention to how you feel in your relationships, in your activities, and even in your quietest moments. If you feel unsafe, drained, or disconnected, trust that feeling. It’s your inner wisdom asking you to realign your energy and nurture the things that truly sustain you.

Life is too short to pour into cups that never fill ours in return. Whether it’s walking away from energy leeches, rethinking how we spend our time, or becoming more mindful of how we show up for others, the goal is balance. It’s love that flows both ways, the kind that leaves everyone better for having been a part of it.