Breaking the Addiction to Acceptance: Finding Freedom Through Creativity
This past weekend, I attended the Beyond Booze Fest hosted by Swift Fit Events. One of the most profound moments was during a panel discussion on sobriety. A speaker shared, "Before I was addicted to alcohol, I was addicted to acceptance." Wow. That statement struck a chord. How often do we find ourselves chasing acceptance, shaping ourselves to fit into boxes we were never meant to occupy? For many of us, the need for acceptance begins in childhood, and as we grow, it evolves into a relentless pursuit. Often leaving us disconnected from our authentic selves.
Another inspiring point from the event was hearing people talk about reconnecting with activities they loved as kids… art, crafting, and creating, to replace drinking. This shift is not just about finding something to do; it’s about rediscovering joy and self-expression. It’s about healing. If you’re ready to release the need for external validation and embrace who you are, creativity can be a powerful tool. Here’s how you can start breaking the addiction to acceptance through creating.
Why Creativity Heals
Creativity has a way of bypassing our fear and self doubt. It doesn’t demand perfection; it simply asks us to show up. When we create, we tap into something deeper. A part of ourselves that doesn’t seek approval, but instead revels in the act of expression. Art, crafting, writing, dancing, or any form of making allows us to reconnect with the unfiltered version of who we are.
When we were kids, we didn’t second guess our drawings, our Lego towers, or the stories we made up on the spot. We just did it. Somewhere along the way, we learned to fear judgment, and that fear built walls around our creativity. The good news? Those walls aren’t permanent. You can tear them down, one small act of creation at a time.
Steps to Break the Fear of Creating
Start Small and Simple
Don’t overwhelm yourself by aiming for a masterpiece. Begin with small, low stakes projects. Doodle on a scrap of paper, knit a simple scarf, or write a paragraph in a journal. The goal isn’t to produce something "good" but to simply enjoy the process.
Create for Yourself, Not for an Audience
Let go of the need for external validation. Create something you might never show anyone else. Paint with your fingers. Write poetry that only you will read. Give yourself the freedom to make something purely for your own joy. Dance to the beat of your own drum.
Embrace Playfulness
Approach creativity the way you did as a child, with curiosity and playfulness. Experiment with colors, materials, or techniques. Let go of expectations and allow yourself to explore.
Use Affirmations to Silence Your Inner Critic
If you hear that voice saying, "I’m not good at this" or "This is a waste of time," counter it with affirmations like:
"I deserve to create without judgment."
"The act of creating is enough."
"I am reconnecting with my authentic self."
Create a Safe Space
Set up a designated area for your creative activities. It doesn’t have to be fancy—a corner of your room or a small table will do. Let this space be free from distractions and judgment.
Find Joy in the Process, Not the Outcome
Shift your focus from the finished product to the act of creating. Allow yourself to get lost in the textures, colors, or movements. Remember, the value lies in the process, not the result.
How Creativity Breaks the Addiction to Acceptance
When you create, you’re reminded of your inherent worth—not because of what you produce, but because you showed up for yourself. Creativity helps you shift from seeking validation from others to finding joy and fulfillment within. It’s a way of saying, "I am enough, just as I am."
Through creating, you begin to reclaim the parts of yourself that you may have suppressed in the pursuit of acceptance. You rediscover the pure, unfiltered joy of being unapologetically you. It’s not about pleasing others; it’s about reconnecting with your truth.
A Simple Creative Exercise to Get Started
Try this exercise to ease into the process of creating:
Set a Timer: Give yourself 10 minutes.
Choose Your Medium: Grab a notebook, some colored pencils, clay, or any materials you have on hand.Turn on your favorite music.
Create Freely: Start drawing, writing, or molding. Don’t overthink it. Let your hands move and see what emerges.
Reflect: When the timer goes off, take a moment to reflect. How did it feel to create without expectations?
The Path Forward
Ending the addiction to acceptance is not about rejection or isolation; it’s about shifting your focus inward. It’s about giving yourself the permission to be seen and celebrated by the most important person in your life: you. Through creativity, you can break free from the cycle of seeking external validation and step into a life that feels authentic and whole.
Creativity isn’t about skill; it’s about connection. It’s about embracing the messy, beautiful process of being human. Start small, stay curious, and let your creativity guide you back to yourself.
