Identity, Identity, Identity: How Often Do We Really Live What We Want?
How many of us are really living in alignment with who we know we want to be? Identity is fluid, ever-changing, and sometimes downright confusing. Speaking from experience, I've changed my identity multiple times throughout my life. Different friend circles, relationships, fashion phases, hobbies—all eras that have made me who I am. And just when I think I’ve “figured it out,” life circumstances or an internal shift force me to re-examine what aligns with my core. And here's the thing—it makes sense. From a deeper, maybe astrological perspective, our charts, our stars, our energies are all about cycles, change, and evolution. So why do we struggle so much with this concept of shifting our identities? Are we in the majority for embracing all these shifts, or are we just a minority of “odd balls” daring to try out new ways of living?
Why Do We Box Ourselves In?
There’s an inherent comfort in having a fixed sense of identity. It gives us structure, a set of rules to play by, and maybe a feeling of security in a world that can be chaotic and unpredictable. We cling to labels because they help us belong—to a friend group, a subculture, a cause, or even an idea of self that feels easy to maintain. But what happens when we shift, when our interests change, or when we realize that we are no longer the person who fits that label?
Society often celebrates the person who "sticks to their path" or "knows who they are." But here’s the reality: most of us are made up of many layers. And the idea that we should choose one identity, one path, and stick with it forever is not only unrealistic but stifling to our growth. Why should we choose just one version of ourselves, when life is calling us to experience so much more?
The Astrology of Shifting Identities
If you look to astrology for answers (which I often do), you'll find that the shifts in our identity often mirror the shifts in our astrological energies. We are all born with a unique chart that has its own themes of change, evolution, and discovery. Some of us may have planets that indicate constant transformation (hello, Scorpio Pluto!), a rebellious desire for freedom and exploration (I'm looking at you, Uranus in Sagittarius), or a grounded need to evolve slowly and with purpose (thanks, Saturn).
Astrology teaches us that it’s natural to go through phases, to embrace new parts of ourselves, and to let go of what no longer serves us. Maybe you're someone who needs to shed old skin frequently to feel alive, or perhaps you find comfort in one stable way of being. Either way, the stars don’t judge—they reflect the infinite possibilities of how we can live.
Are We the "Odd Balls" for Wanting to Try New Lifestyles?
It can certainly feel that way. In a world that sometimes pressures us to "settle down," "choose a path," and "stick with it," the desire to keep changing, keep evolving, can feel like a rebellion against social norms. But let's flip that script. What if the real rebellion is to listen to that inner voice that tells you it's okay to change, to try something new, to be a different person than you were yesterday?
Being a chameleon, someone who can shift between friend groups, hobbies, styles, and even philosophies is a sign of openness to growth and experience. It means you aren’t afraid to let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore. It means you're willing to live authentically, even if that authenticity looks different every few years, every few months, or even every few days.
The fear of being labeled as "inconsistent" or "too experimental" can often make people stay in boxes that no longer fit. But what if we celebrated that inconsistency as an embrace of life's richness? What if we saw changing your identity as an expansion of who you are rather than a deviation from who you’re "supposed" to be?
Identity as a Series of Seasons
Think of your identity as having seasons, rather than being set in stone. Just like nature, we go through phases—some bright and blooming, others quiet and introspective, some wild and adventurous, others calm and rooted. The beauty is in the ability to embrace whatever season you're in, knowing that a new one will come when it's time to shift again.
Every time you shift your identity, you're actually giving yourself permission to grow into the person you need to be right now. It's less about "finding yourself" and more about "allowing yourself." Allowing yourself to pursue what interests you, align with what feels authentic in the moment, and give up the need to always have one answer to "who are you?"
Expanding Beyond "Identity Crisis"
People talk a lot about "identity crisis" like it’s a bad thing. But what if it's just a sign that you're ready for a new chapter? That you’re ready to shed the old layers and step into something more aligned? Rather than resisting the crisis, lean into it. Let it guide you towards what feels exciting, authentic, and truly you in this moment. Because the truth is, none of us are meant to stay the same.
So, are we the odd balls for trying on new ways of living? Maybe. But let’s redefine what it means to be an odd ball—a seeker, a trailblazer, someone unafraid to explore every corner of who they are. Identity is not about staying consistent; it's about staying true. And if that means changing your mind, your path, and your "look" a hundred times over—then so be it. You're living, you're expanding, you're growing. And isn’t that the whole point?
